100 DAYS ~ April 20th

Updated: Apr 24, 2021

Well, I hit the BIG 100, and the high I was on completely deflated! Wow, I was NOT ready for that since I was LOVING the natural high I was feeling! "They" said that it doesn't last, but I was very hopeful that it would; however, "they" were right...again, haha!

3 BIG things are for sure...I'm down 22 pounds, I've saved over $2,000.00, and I haven't had one sip of alcohol! Yay, me! However, NOW, I'm feeling all my real feelings that I haven't allowed myself to "sit" in, well in like forever! I've numbed, run and hid from them, but not now, I'm having to face them head on. It's definitely hard...I'm not going to lie, but I am NOT going to let it make me drink!

I now have to dig deep, put my heals in the sand and stand strong against the enemy who is trying his best to break me down. Now, more than ever, I have to work hard daily in my program. I HAVE to get back to the basics where I was in the beginning. I let myself become a little complacent and started taking my program for granted. I haven't been meeting with my sponsor, reading the big book, doing my morning devotionals and I'm REALLY feeling it!

Soon, I will be 45, and I am overwhelmed with emotions. This will be my first birthday where alcohol will NOT be the center of my attention and where everything I plan revolves around me drinking alcohol. Instead, I have a day at the Pinehurst Spa planned with my mom and dinner plans with my family. I will actually remember this Birthday...for once in a very long time! I will embrace every moment of this birthday, remembering how far I've come and how brighter my future looks now that I'm FREE of the awful bondage alcohol had on my life for so many years!

I know what I have to do and it is DAILY that I HAVE to do it, or I will start down the awful path of letting the enemy into my thoughts and allowing him to destroy me. It truly is a one day at a time journey. Surrendering and letting God guide me is something I want to master daily as I begin my 45th year. One day, one breath at a time...I CAN and WILL do this!

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