Day 16 ~ January 26th

Updated: Jan 27, 2021

Yesterday I attended TWO AA meetings. Yup, I'm stepping up my game! It's so refreshing going into each meeting. The meetings have the same structure, but oh so different with the discussions. Each person has "their" story. Here we are, ALL kinds of different types of people...beliefs, backgrounds, political views, races, etc...but we're all in it together. That's one of the coolest things to me when our world is so broken right now. THIS group comes together putting all differences aside to focus on one thing we have in common...we all have a desire to not drink and we believe that we CAN'T even have the first drink, EVER! BUT, even if we do, we are always welcome back. THAT'S true acceptance, kindness and love!

I always meet someone new at each meeting. It's so nice meeting likeminded people who are on a similar journey as you. The lady I met yesterday had been sober for 20 years and she THOUGHT she could go back to drinking during the pandemic to manage her stress as a nurse, BUT she found herself right back to where she was before. She's now back working the program to get back on track. Wow, 20 years sober from alcohol and she went right back into the old habits. THIS is the biggest difference of a real alcoholic versus a "normal" person. We alcoholics have an illness that doesn't go away. It's an allergy as they describe it. You wouldn't eat dairy, gluten, eggs if you were allergic to them so we should treat alcohol the same.

I'm not going to lie. I had a hard time with this point, but it does make sense. The alcoholics mind is much different than the "normal" drinkers mind. Some say that you progressively get there, some say that you are born with it and some say both. I say it's both from my experience. I personally think that you can be genetically predisposed and if you choose to drink then it progressively gets worse over time. As I reflect on my many years of drinking, I was NOT a "normal" drinker from beginning of my drinking career (although I thought I was). I always drank to get "a buzz", but didn't know where the fine line was to not "over do it". It's like my brain is wired differently than others and doesn't know when to say enough. This problem followed me around for years without me really knowing what was happening, and what I was REALLY doing to myself. It's a sad truth that I went for so long living this way that I didn't even realize this simple truth. I was in denial. Alcohol was my everything!

Hearing the many stories from my fellow alcoholic friends makes me realize SO much! I haven't lost everything, but I was well on my way. I am SO thankful that I didn't hit rock bottom to make me realize that I have a MAJOR problem. A lot of people have lost everything. It's so sad to hear these stories, but a true awakening for me and my story. I have time to make things right! I have time to enjoy ALL the blessings that I have. Yes, I made LOTS of mistakes, but not one that I can't fix. Now, I can draw a line in the sand and say "I'm not drinking for today" and not go back to where I was. It's a daily choice. If I make it any harder then I will fail. SO, today, I will NOT drink.

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