Day 23 ~ February 2nd

This morning I attended the 7:30am meeting for the first time. I heard this meeting was a good one to attend, so I of course had to check it out. A little earlier than I'd like, but I made it with a BIG cup of coffee in hand. I haven't yet attended a meeting that I didn't like. They're ALL so good! I love there's SO many options available every day. I plan to go to the noon meeting as well today. The more I can get to, the better at this point in my journey.

Today we discussed "rescued by surrendering". AA is described by some as being more like a "cult", but let me tell you, it's FAR from being anywhere near anything like that for sure (I was even under this assumption until I attended) . They do encourage you to reach out to "your higher power" which can be anything you'd like for it to be as long as you surrender to "your higher power" and relinquish your control of all the things you're "powerless" over. Every individual in AA has a story that is truly amazing and empowering on how they got to where they are now. It's SO inspiring to hear! Most come to the understanding that God is their "higher power" but some focus on the universe or energy, but it's to each their own, which I love. ALL are accepted and welcome into the AA family!

My higher power is God (as most of you know) and I have been fighting Him for years on surrendering my problem and giving it all to Him. I don't know how many times I prayed through a bad hangover...pleading with Him to just see me through saying "I won't do this again if I can just get through today". Well, we know that didn't happen...I'd just go right back to drinking the next day. Shameful, I know, BUT I was an addict. Nothing else mattered to me when it came to me and my alcohol. Did I realize this...yes, over the past couple of years, I did, but I wasn't willing to seriously do anything about it. Until now, I have found MY place and it feels SO good. I can't tell you the comfort I feel in this room with complete strangers. I could be there all day because the benefits are endless!

Today, I am incredibly thankful that He is showing me the way...I'm seeing a light in the dark world of despair after just 3 short weeks. I FINALLY surrendered to Him and slowly the chains are being broken every minute of each day that passes. I am truly humbled for this opportunity. The peace that surrounds me is unexplainable, and I truly believe that it's because I finally said enough is enough and gave it ALL to Him, and THAT I'm extremely grateful for!

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