Day 26 ~ February 5th

Happy Friday!!! I feel like celebrating after today!!! Celebrating without alcohol is MUCH different. I have to slowly learn my way around this new alcohol free life. BUT, tonight, I'm enjoying the evening in comfy pajamas with a mocktail, my blog then a good book on the couch by the fire. This honestly sounds SO much better than what I use to do to celebrate...AND I'll feel MUCH better tomorrow too! Win Win for ME!!!

Today, I surprised my doctor (who I've been seeing since the move) with the BIG reveal of my new found life. We've been working on a plan to help me get to a better place in my life. She was determined that I needed in-patient due to the amount I was drinking daily, but I told her that I couldn't leave my family. She said "well then, you need to start tapering off". I said, "I could do problem"! HAHA, this gets a BIG laugh when I tell my AA friends this story. TAPER?!? Sounds easy, but for a true alcoholic, this is pretty much impossible. I did try, but it didn't happen, obviously. I came back to see her a couple of times with my head down and defeated that I couldn't do it. She said to me "Stephanie, I'm doing all I can to help you, but you have to listen to me or you're going to end up in rehab". I told her that I would really work hard this time. I'm sure she was like "yeah, right". Well, today, I blew her away! She came in and instantly knew something was different. I explained that I had to quit cold turkey since the tapering wasn't working for me. I had my husband as a watch guard over me just in case I had any serious DT's, but other than moderate withdrawals, I managed to do okay. Needless to say, she was SO proud of me! She mentioned AA to me a while back, so she was VERY happy that I was already well into the AA program and getting my 30 day chip next week. I told her everything and was on cloud nine! This appointment today with her was a big one for was a HUGE motivating factor because I did NOT want to go back to see her feeling defeated AGAIN. We're going to continue "self-care" appointments so she can keep tabs on me each month which is EXACTLY what I need right now!

After my doctors appointment, I met my sponsor to start working on my steps. We've been meeting and getting to know each other, but today, we dove right in. It's like free therapy, but SO much better! She really "gets" REALLY gets me! It's so comfortable and freeing all at the same time. I'm having to talk about some real HARD stuff, but it's SO relieving to get it off my chest. It's a lot to process, but it's SO freeing! GOSH, I feel so lucky to have FINALLY joined this amazing program! Never would I EVER have imagined what a gift this would be to me, but God surely did! The freedom I'm feeling now is indescribable, but I am SO grateful!

Well, I'm off to enjoy this Friday night with my family then cozy up by the fire with a book and my mocktail. Cheers to another alcohol free day!

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