I'm feeling lots of feels now. Some good, some not so good. It's quite exhausting, actually. I'm tired, really tired. I'm feeling a little down and having a difficult time getting out of bed. I'm napping which I don't normally do during the day. They say this is all "normal". They say that I'm "feeling my feelings now". Well, maybe I am, but I have to do something about this not so good feeling I feel right now.
In the beginning of this journey, I was on cloud nine! They call this the "pink cloud" and it doesn't last forever (unfortunately)…and I think it left me. So, now I have to regroup and take some really important next steps. I have to get into a good routine. I HAVE to start working out! Working out is one of the BEST things I can do right now (and anytime), but I haven't had the energy to do anything...like, NOTHING at all!!!
Tomorrow, we're heading skiing for the weekend with my family...yet another BIG step for me. I think I'm packing in too much at one time way too early in my sobriety. This will be the third weekend in a row of having weekend plans away. Definitely NOT the best planning on my part, but I couldn't help how this all lined up this time. However, moving forward, I will allow at least one to two weekends in between trips for sure!!!
I have to get my head straight. I know this journey is going to have many ups and downs, and I just have to learn how to roll with it all. My norm is to just run to get alcohol for everything, and I HAVE to remember how far I've come in 46 days! WOW, I never thought I'd get this far quite honestly without relapsing, but here I am...plugging away and pressing forward with each new day.
I'm going to take this weekend to really do some digging deep inside...read and make an action plan for next week for my new routine. I have to shake off the grumps, hold my head up high and know that I CAN DO THIS!!!! One day, one minute, one breath...with HIM on my side.