Day 50 ~ March 1st

Wow, 50 DAYS!!! I can't even believe it! It feels so good saying it out loud...FIFTY DAYS!!!!!!! I know if I can make it this far then I really CAN do this! In the last 50 days, I have come SO far! The changes are unreal, but the biggest accomplishment is that I successfully made it through three weekends away! Was it, it wasn't, BUT it's getting easier!

This weekend, we went to Beech Mountain for our annual family ski trip. We celebrated my nieces 18th birthday and my brothers 50th birthday. I can't believe how old they are now...time really needs to slow down! I love birthdays, but now that I'm getting older, and especially now that I'm on this new journey, I'm seeing just how precious life really is and how much I took it for granted all these years. It's so easy to lose sight when our lives are so busy and consumed with so much. Since "slowing down" and reflecting (a lot), I'm realizing so much that I've taken for granted. I allowed alcohol to get in the way of SO much of my family, my health, friends, money and time. Nothing good EVER came from me drinking, so why did I continue to do it? Well, the answer is pretty clear...I have a disease and it's called alcoholism. I'm not ashamed in the least...I'm just so glad I finally realized this before it was too late.

I did not attend any meetings this weekend, but I did my daily readings which helped. This week I'm getting on a better schedule! I'm going to control my day instead of letting it control me now. I'm going to be intentional about my day and plan it accordingly the day before, but I'm going to start going to bed and getting up at the same time each day. To help me get into a good routine, I'm going to attend the 730am meeting as many weekday mornings as possible to help start my day. I was doing so good in the beginning, but the past week or so it's been hard to get up. I promise to rest as I know my body is in "recovery" and needs it. I've never been a "napper" but recently, I haven't had any problems falling asleep on the couch while cuddling my sweet fur-baby. I love this cuddle time and find it extremely therapeutic.

Today, I am grateful for the long weekend I spent with my family in the mountains. I am extremely grateful for the relationships we share and the unconditional love that surrounds us. I came back today feeling rested and refreshed (unlike our past trips where I'd come back exhausted and hungover). I feel blessed and I need to remember my blessings when I am down, and I will do my best to do that each day. This week, I will NOT allow "stinking thinking" and I will rise above any negative thoughts that enter my mind. One day at a time.

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