Happy Friday and 55 days of FREEDOM for ME!!! I have some GREAT news to share today...this journey is getting a little easier (well, this week has been, haha). I have had a pretty good week overall which is a HUGE accomplishment over last week. Last week, I was down and out, and I felt it all over. This week, I've tackled each day...being intentional about my plans with an attitude of hope and willingness to listen to Him.
This week, I went on my first interview in many years (18 years to be exact). My husband was supportive but questioned why I was doing this. However, I was determined that THIS is what I needed right now...a full time job with lots of responsibilities to keep my mind busy and off of alcohol. So, I got all dressed up in my "interview outfit" and set off for my new found "professional life"...just 53 days of being on my new journey. It felt SO good! The job sounded intense but exciting for this once career lady! I left there with my head filling full and racing with thoughts. This job sounds perfect for me, but am I really ready for this? How am I going to manage the kids, my FIL? Sure, my husband would help, but it was going to be a lot to manage between the two of us. My husband was on board if this was something I really wanted to do (he's so supportive), but I was apprehensive and confused as to what I should do.
I decided to discuss this job opportunity with my sponsor and some other longtime AA members. Oh, I'm SO glad that I did. They explained that it isn't the best idea to start anything big and new right now since I'm early in my sobriety. You're not to make any big changes or decisions the first year of your journey unless it's absolutely critical. This makes complete sense. How was I going to manage a full time job, kids, my FIL AND work on my recovery? It was a good learning experience for me and I am SO thankful for my AA tribe that encouraged me in the right direction.
I'm excited though, I am still going back to work, but part time only. My dads company that he works for offered me a job as their "Director of Safety" that starts April 1st. From now until then, I will be studying and learning all about safety on job sites. I will be doing site visits and inspecting the safety protocol at each job site and reporting to corporate any issues that I see. The job is flexible hours so exactly what I can handle with my recovery right now and it gives me a sense of purpose during the week (along with bringing in some extra money). I'm thrilled to say the least! I wanted to do something so I pray this is the opportunity that I have been looking for.
Back in Maryland, I had a moms bible study group that I started attending in 2013 when we first moved to our new neighborhood in the country. It's a great group of ladies. I've missed connecting with them. I have kept in touch with a couple of the ladies and especially our leader who we call Momma L. She is an amazing Christian leader and we all truly think she has a direct line to God. She's such a role model for us moms and if we're in trouble, she's always there! Of course, I wanted her to know all about what I was going through, as I had talked to her before about "my issues". She prays hours a day for us ladies and loves us like we're her own...she's truly an amazing lady of God.
The other day, I told Momma L that I was going to be on the Thursday night zoom bible study call since it had been so long and I needed it. I missed connecting with these ladies and I truly needed this more than I knew. It was SO nice seeing some of the ladies that I hadn't seen in months since we moved. To my surprise, Momma L had planned the study last night for me. I was able to share "my story" and had such support from them. It was very liberating to say the least. I'm finally feeling like I can share my story with others and it feels so good! I'm not walking around with a sign on or shouting it from the mountain tops yet, but I'm getting a lot more comfortable sharing "my story".
My husband and I are attending a 16 week marriage workshop at a local church. We're on our second week and it's been great so far. We meet in a large group for about 45 minutes then break into small groups of about 5 couples for about an hour. We're meeting some nice couples which is great since we're new to the area too. The first night, we had to get to know each other a little so we had to go around the room to "share" a little about ourselves. One thing that we had to share was what "hobbies" we enjoyed. I leaned over and joked with my husband...well, drinking was my hobby. He said, be transparent and tell them, and so I did. WOW, I just opened up to a room of strangers and it felt SO good. He was so proud of me too. The support from the other couples was amazing. In fact, our small group leader hasn't had any alcohol since the 90's (his father was an alcoholic). I'm finding that this disease is impacting SO many people. There's 2 couples in our group that are really into my story so I may just be helping someone else by sharing. That's one big thing about AA is to serve others by sharing your journey of hope with others, and I'm finally getting to the point where I can do just that...and it's a great feeling!!!
The Lord has a plan for my journey. I have no idea what that is, but I am going to keep pushing on each day until He reveals His plan to me. I know in my heart that I have met my destiny through attending AA. I am one of "those" AA members, haha. The ones that live and breathe AA but have such a better life because of it. I can't believe that I will be getting my 60 day chip soon (by the grace of God). This living for today mentality is truly a gift. I can do this today by His grace and mercy!