Day two ~ January 12th

Updated: Jan 13, 2021

So far so good. I had a good night rest after finally falling asleep. Anxiety continues in the evening BUT my natural gummy helped pull me through again (thank God for them). I didn't have a huge puddle of sweat but I'm sure that's far from over! I'm clicking on minute by minute remembering my WHY and all things possible in this journey towards being free of alcohol. I go back and forth...should I just take a break or is this something I really need to do forever. I know the answer, but I'm not ready to accept it just yet. I'm just going to keep taking this journey day by day to see where it leads me. I feel strong and confident that I can do this so I'm just going to keep feeling all the feels and pray hard to see where I'm led.

I knew this was going to be hard...very hard, so I made myself even more accountable and sat down with my 12 year old daughter for a "talk". My girl has seen me drunk more times than she ever should have although she doesn't seem to think so. She thinks I'm just "really happy and funny" which I guess I'm some what thankful for, but she needs to know the truth about alcohol and the trouble it can cause in ones life...especially since I started at the early age of 15 and was curious much earlier than that. So, I told her, I poured my heart out to my baby girl and apologized for not being the mom that I wanted to be for her. She was so sweet and SO loving in how she took it all into her tween brain, but she got it...she really felt my heart and it meant the world to me to talk openly about our family addiction issues (that's another post) and how it can impact someone in the long run. Thankfully, she did forgive me and wants to help support me anyway she can which I so appreciate more than she'll EVER know! Needless to say, it was quite an emotional conversation but one I know she'll never forget and I will always hold close to my heart.

On my first day of being alcohol free, I read this devotional and I wanted to post since it was the start of my journey and exactly what I needed to hear. God is always on time!

Here's to another day, one minute at a time!

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